Need to talk privately with Cilan? Send him a message via the crystal or carrier pigeon? Want to meet with him without posting a log for it? Here's the place to do it!
Red doesn't know for a second if to keep pushing--or if to be annoyed by fact that he's pushing again, after all the pushing and emotions that came with Hinata's state. It isn't Cilan's fault, but-
He sits a few seconds, staring at his cup. ]
You're not acting like yourself. I know something's wrong.
... This flavor is not one that can be so easily concealed, hm? [But alright--] I had a conversation with a friend today that's got me considering the taste of certain flavors a little more thoroughly, I suppose.
Concern, mostly, as the conversation we had was quite worrying. [There's a pause, before--] I'm not sure how much I can say about it, as it was a rather private matter that they wanted to discuss with me.
[Although, Red's name actually did come up in the conversation at one point, so maybe it's not entirely fair to not say anything...]
[ Sonia. He nods, initially surprised. But then--it shouldn't be surprising with what was already in his mind. Had it been her?
His hands close together, one over the other. ]
... I know about how something terrible happened back in her world; the same one that Hinata, Komaeda, and [ ... ] and Junko all come from. ...and I think, to all of them too.
[ ... Now how much should he say? He considers how to proceed, and how Hinata didn't tell him about his past for him to go around sharing it, but...
This was Cilan, and he didn't want to keep his mouth shut about the subject from him of all people, and what it possibly meant regarding the people they knew. It's for that reason that any guilt he might've felt usually in this situation isn't as present when he does finally open his mouth. ]
No, I don't know the full story... but Hinata told me about a school where people considered "Ultimates" in a talent came together and were admired by the rest of the world. There... [ his brow dips in briefly, a frown pressed on his mouth ] Hinata got into the school through some kind of program than by having a talent, and he agreed to take part in an experiment to become an Ultimate like the others. Komaeda-- he's one too. They could all be Ultimates: Sonia, Junko... it might be how they all know each other.
[ ...But he's getting distracted. He looks over to the cup on the table, but doesn't move to pick it up. ]
When the school experimented on Hinata, he lost his humanity-- he became someone who could do anything perfectly, but there was nothing about him left. Their goal was to make the "Ultimate Hope", and by doing that [ the disgust comes off every word ] they took away everything that made him, him. His own hopes, his dreams, his personality... they took away Hinata.
[ It annoyed him to remember that, how not long ago Hinata wanted to make the choice to be him, just because of another choice he didn't want to make. Why...? He couldn't understand, even factoring in those pods...
His hands squeeze together, tightly, and it takes him a longer to resume this time. ]
When he told me, he said--- that's it's possible he's killed people. There's a part of his life he doesn't remember as that guy. Not only that... there was someone else earlier today saying the same thing over the amulet. They said they'd forgotten the time when they did something terrible with a group that were also here, and there was one who knew the truth who "couldn't be trusted"...
[ Junko. It made sense. He hates that it makes sense, that he's thought about it to this degree and let himself click pieces into places about others' lives. The air becomes slightly heavy around him thinking about it, his mouth lined. ]
Their world was ruined by Junko Enoshima -- but she wasn't the only one who destroyed it.
[ The implication is enough for him, and enough to make him feel that shame. ]
[There's a long pause of silence as Cilan listens... before he nods.]
Mm, then we are on the same page here now. [That's kind of a relief; he doesn't like hiding things from Red if he can help it. He didn't know that part about Hinata though, and it makes the air uncomfortably warm with anger thinking that something like that happened to him... no, not just him...]
Sonia told me something similar today, too... she felt that it was important that I should know the situation regarding herself and her classmates here, and how they know Miss Junko here as well.
[ Normally, it would be okay, that heat; he could brush it aside, do it how he's learnt to do it between controlled breathing and dunamis. But tonight he doesn't trust himself in that ability, and so he eventually stands from the couch onto his feet, flexing his fingers before shoving them away into his pockets.
He exhales, and moves away by a few steps. ] What did you say to her?
[There's a pause, before Cilan actually smiles a little.]
That I'd still like to be her friend, of course. What happened was... distasteful, horrifying really, but... I can tell that she's a sweet person and wants to change things for the better here. How can I not want to reward such bravery and honesty by continuing to put my trust in her?
[There was some other things said too though, if judging by the heat of anger changing now to something a little more pleasant, almost a giddy sort of feeling...]
[ He can sense it, some of it, turning to face Cilan then. It softens his expression, already then without much to it as thoughts dance around his head. But-- he didn't entirely not understand Cilan's answer, when he had been so adamant to make Hinata believe in his own innocence in what happened to him. That was what he believed in. The why, what meant more was knowing the why.
Wasn't it? ]
...Were you ready for the kind of stories you would hear from people about their worlds? Ever since I came here, I've found myself changing what I thought I believed in... I've heard about their world, and the things people have done... the kind of things I wouldn't have forgiven them for back home. [ Would he have? He doesn't know-- ] Did you know? The world Alvin comes from -- Ludger told me that he's had to destroy worlds for his own. Do you think Alvin didn't know about it? All of them from that world, they're closer than that.
[ There's a melancholy to his words, and he still eyes Cilan with an unreadable, lax expression. ]
That's the kind of people we're surrounded by. [ His leans to the side, slowly. ] Or do you have a secret too?
[ He lowers his head and shakes it some, mouth twitching close to a smile but not getting there. There's nothing really to be be smiling about, right now. ]
It's fine, I didn't suspect you did. [ ... ] I don't know how much it would've mattered anyway even if you had. Talk about being a hypocrite, huh?
[ Whether that was true or not, it's nothing Red allows a response to--at least not directly after, continuing on: ]
Are you going to be okay? It looked it was a lot for you to find out. [ A pause. ] Do you have work tomorrow?
[It was a lot to find out, but... one good thing came out of it, and it's that he's still able to hold onto his friendship with Sonia... and maybe something more, which would almost cause Cilan's face to turn pink just thinking about it if it wasn't for Red's question catching him off guard.]
[ Cilan's face might not be a pecha berry right now, but there's something off by the way he looks that's got Red stopping his earlier train of thought to blink at him with a different kind of concern. ]
[Cilan raises a hand up to feel his own face for a moment--there is a warmth there, but it feels like the pleasant kind, not the sickly-kind one might consider as a sign of illness.]
No, I don't believe I have a feverish flavor... why do you ask?
You had this far off look, and you looked embarrassed all of the sudden... [ Was it embarrassment? Red's pointing up a finger at his own face, not sure how else to describe such a look than that. ]
Mm, it must've been nothing. If you're fine, that's okay. It was just out of place.
[ ... ] I was thinking that the last thing you'd want to do was go in with how you acted when you came in --
[ The cushions of the couch move as he decides to return to his seat, a pause breaking what he's saying as he grabs his drink and then sits back, his feet joining him near the edge. It tucks his legs in close, and the cup rests in his hands over on the other side of his legs. ] -- but, maybe staying busy is how you want to be. I was thinking about spending a few days just camping out and getting away from the city. Everyone's going to be talking about those pods... it's too noisy here.
[ He's running a finger along the side of the cup, the tea no longer too sharp in its heat but still warm enough. ]
... Actually, I think getting away for a little while sounds like a great idea: sometimes, you just need the refreshing fragrance of the great outdoors in order to organize one's thoughts, right? I'd be happy to accompany you, if you'd like us to.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
no subject
[ You looked bothered, Cilan. ]
no subject
[... Well okay yeah, he kind of is regarding something here, but...]
No, I didn't get close enough for them to have that kind of effect on me. [So... at least there's that?]
no subject
Red doesn't know for a second if to keep pushing--or if to be annoyed by fact that he's pushing again, after all the pushing and emotions that came with Hinata's state. It isn't Cilan's fault, but-
He sits a few seconds, staring at his cup. ]
You're not acting like yourself. I know something's wrong.
no subject
no subject
Flavours...? Which flavours?
no subject
[Although, Red's name actually did come up in the conversation at one point, so maybe it's not entirely fair to not say anything...]
no subject
...Was it someone I know?
no subject
[Or rather, you would know her in general even outside of that occasion, but it was an example that both of us had been present for, so.]
no subject
His hands close together, one over the other. ]
... I know about how something terrible happened back in her world; the same one that Hinata, Komaeda, and [ ... ] and Junko all come from. ...and I think, to all of them too.
no subject
Did they tell you much about what is was that happened there?
no subject
This was Cilan, and he didn't want to keep his mouth shut about the subject from him of all people, and what it possibly meant regarding the people they knew. It's for that reason that any guilt he might've felt usually in this situation isn't as present when he does finally open his mouth. ]
No, I don't know the full story... but Hinata told me about a school where people considered "Ultimates" in a talent came together and were admired by the rest of the world. There... [ his brow dips in briefly, a frown pressed on his mouth ] Hinata got into the school through some kind of program than by having a talent, and he agreed to take part in an experiment to become an Ultimate like the others. Komaeda-- he's one too. They could all be Ultimates: Sonia, Junko... it might be how they all know each other.
[ ...But he's getting distracted. He looks over to the cup on the table, but doesn't move to pick it up. ]
When the school experimented on Hinata, he lost his humanity-- he became someone who could do anything perfectly, but there was nothing about him left. Their goal was to make the "Ultimate Hope", and by doing that [ the disgust comes off every word ] they took away everything that made him, him. His own hopes, his dreams, his personality... they took away Hinata.
[ It annoyed him to remember that, how not long ago Hinata wanted to make the choice to be him, just because of another choice he didn't want to make. Why...? He couldn't understand, even factoring in those pods...
His hands squeeze together, tightly, and it takes him a longer to resume this time. ]
When he told me, he said--- that's it's possible he's killed people. There's a part of his life he doesn't remember as that guy. Not only that... there was someone else earlier today saying the same thing over the amulet. They said they'd forgotten the time when they did something terrible with a group that were also here, and there was one who knew the truth who "couldn't be trusted"...
[ Junko. It made sense. He hates that it makes sense, that he's thought about it to this degree and let himself click pieces into places about others' lives. The air becomes slightly heavy around him thinking about it, his mouth lined. ]
Their world was ruined by Junko Enoshima -- but she wasn't the only one who destroyed it.
[ The implication is enough for him, and enough to make him feel that shame. ]
no subject
Mm, then we are on the same page here now. [That's kind of a relief; he doesn't like hiding things from Red if he can help it. He didn't know that part about Hinata though, and it makes the air uncomfortably warm with anger thinking that something like that happened to him... no, not just him...]
Sonia told me something similar today, too... she felt that it was important that I should know the situation regarding herself and her classmates here, and how they know Miss Junko here as well.
no subject
He exhales, and moves away by a few steps. ] What did you say to her?
no subject
That I'd still like to be her friend, of course. What happened was... distasteful, horrifying really, but... I can tell that she's a sweet person and wants to change things for the better here. How can I not want to reward such bravery and honesty by continuing to put my trust in her?
[There was some other things said too though, if judging by the heat of anger changing now to something a little more pleasant, almost a giddy sort of feeling...]
no subject
Wasn't it? ]
...Were you ready for the kind of stories you would hear from people about their worlds? Ever since I came here, I've found myself changing what I thought I believed in... I've heard about their world, and the things people have done... the kind of things I wouldn't have forgiven them for back home. [ Would he have? He doesn't know-- ] Did you know? The world Alvin comes from -- Ludger told me that he's had to destroy worlds for his own. Do you think Alvin didn't know about it? All of them from that world, they're closer than that.
[ There's a melancholy to his words, and he still eyes Cilan with an unreadable, lax expression. ]
That's the kind of people we're surrounded by. [ His leans to the side, slowly. ] Or do you have a secret too?
no subject
Our opinion on this taste is a little difficult to describe, but I can assure you that I don't have any secrets like that going on.
[Or rather, he's pretty sure you already know most of them by now?]
no subject
It's fine, I didn't suspect you did. [ ... ] I don't know how much it would've mattered anyway even if you had. Talk about being a hypocrite, huh?
[ Whether that was true or not, it's nothing Red allows a response to--at least not directly after, continuing on: ]
Are you going to be okay? It looked it was a lot for you to find out. [ A pause. ] Do you have work tomorrow?
no subject
Ah... no, I have the day off tomorrow, actually.
no subject
[ Cilan's face might not be a pecha berry right now, but there's something off by the way he looks that's got Red stopping his earlier train of thought to blink at him with a different kind of concern. ]
no subject
[Cilan raises a hand up to feel his own face for a moment--there is a warmth there, but it feels like the pleasant kind, not the sickly-kind one might consider as a sign of illness.]
No, I don't believe I have a feverish flavor... why do you ask?
no subject
Mm, it must've been nothing. If you're fine, that's okay. It was just out of place.
no subject
[Haha... ha... he's never embarrassed about anything, what are you talking about.]
So, what was it that you wanted to do tomorrow?
no subject
[ The cushions of the couch move as he decides to return to his seat, a pause breaking what he's saying as he grabs his drink and then sits back, his feet joining him near the edge. It tucks his legs in close, and the cup rests in his hands over on the other side of his legs. ] -- but, maybe staying busy is how you want to be. I was thinking about spending a few days just camping out and getting away from the city. Everyone's going to be talking about those pods... it's too noisy here.
[ He's running a finger along the side of the cup, the tea no longer too sharp in its heat but still warm enough. ]
no subject
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)