Need to talk privately with Cilan? Send him a message via the crystal or carrier pigeon? Want to meet with him without posting a log for it? Here's the place to do it!
[ Sonia. He nods, initially surprised. But then--it shouldn't be surprising with what was already in his mind. Had it been her?
His hands close together, one over the other. ]
... I know about how something terrible happened back in her world; the same one that Hinata, Komaeda, and [ ... ] and Junko all come from. ...and I think, to all of them too.
[ ... Now how much should he say? He considers how to proceed, and how Hinata didn't tell him about his past for him to go around sharing it, but...
This was Cilan, and he didn't want to keep his mouth shut about the subject from him of all people, and what it possibly meant regarding the people they knew. It's for that reason that any guilt he might've felt usually in this situation isn't as present when he does finally open his mouth. ]
No, I don't know the full story... but Hinata told me about a school where people considered "Ultimates" in a talent came together and were admired by the rest of the world. There... [ his brow dips in briefly, a frown pressed on his mouth ] Hinata got into the school through some kind of program than by having a talent, and he agreed to take part in an experiment to become an Ultimate like the others. Komaeda-- he's one too. They could all be Ultimates: Sonia, Junko... it might be how they all know each other.
[ ...But he's getting distracted. He looks over to the cup on the table, but doesn't move to pick it up. ]
When the school experimented on Hinata, he lost his humanity-- he became someone who could do anything perfectly, but there was nothing about him left. Their goal was to make the "Ultimate Hope", and by doing that [ the disgust comes off every word ] they took away everything that made him, him. His own hopes, his dreams, his personality... they took away Hinata.
[ It annoyed him to remember that, how not long ago Hinata wanted to make the choice to be him, just because of another choice he didn't want to make. Why...? He couldn't understand, even factoring in those pods...
His hands squeeze together, tightly, and it takes him a longer to resume this time. ]
When he told me, he said--- that's it's possible he's killed people. There's a part of his life he doesn't remember as that guy. Not only that... there was someone else earlier today saying the same thing over the amulet. They said they'd forgotten the time when they did something terrible with a group that were also here, and there was one who knew the truth who "couldn't be trusted"...
[ Junko. It made sense. He hates that it makes sense, that he's thought about it to this degree and let himself click pieces into places about others' lives. The air becomes slightly heavy around him thinking about it, his mouth lined. ]
Their world was ruined by Junko Enoshima -- but she wasn't the only one who destroyed it.
[ The implication is enough for him, and enough to make him feel that shame. ]
[There's a long pause of silence as Cilan listens... before he nods.]
Mm, then we are on the same page here now. [That's kind of a relief; he doesn't like hiding things from Red if he can help it. He didn't know that part about Hinata though, and it makes the air uncomfortably warm with anger thinking that something like that happened to him... no, not just him...]
Sonia told me something similar today, too... she felt that it was important that I should know the situation regarding herself and her classmates here, and how they know Miss Junko here as well.
[ Normally, it would be okay, that heat; he could brush it aside, do it how he's learnt to do it between controlled breathing and dunamis. But tonight he doesn't trust himself in that ability, and so he eventually stands from the couch onto his feet, flexing his fingers before shoving them away into his pockets.
He exhales, and moves away by a few steps. ] What did you say to her?
[There's a pause, before Cilan actually smiles a little.]
That I'd still like to be her friend, of course. What happened was... distasteful, horrifying really, but... I can tell that she's a sweet person and wants to change things for the better here. How can I not want to reward such bravery and honesty by continuing to put my trust in her?
[There was some other things said too though, if judging by the heat of anger changing now to something a little more pleasant, almost a giddy sort of feeling...]
[ He can sense it, some of it, turning to face Cilan then. It softens his expression, already then without much to it as thoughts dance around his head. But-- he didn't entirely not understand Cilan's answer, when he had been so adamant to make Hinata believe in his own innocence in what happened to him. That was what he believed in. The why, what meant more was knowing the why.
Wasn't it? ]
...Were you ready for the kind of stories you would hear from people about their worlds? Ever since I came here, I've found myself changing what I thought I believed in... I've heard about their world, and the things people have done... the kind of things I wouldn't have forgiven them for back home. [ Would he have? He doesn't know-- ] Did you know? The world Alvin comes from -- Ludger told me that he's had to destroy worlds for his own. Do you think Alvin didn't know about it? All of them from that world, they're closer than that.
[ There's a melancholy to his words, and he still eyes Cilan with an unreadable, lax expression. ]
That's the kind of people we're surrounded by. [ His leans to the side, slowly. ] Or do you have a secret too?
[ He lowers his head and shakes it some, mouth twitching close to a smile but not getting there. There's nothing really to be be smiling about, right now. ]
It's fine, I didn't suspect you did. [ ... ] I don't know how much it would've mattered anyway even if you had. Talk about being a hypocrite, huh?
[ Whether that was true or not, it's nothing Red allows a response to--at least not directly after, continuing on: ]
Are you going to be okay? It looked it was a lot for you to find out. [ A pause. ] Do you have work tomorrow?
[It was a lot to find out, but... one good thing came out of it, and it's that he's still able to hold onto his friendship with Sonia... and maybe something more, which would almost cause Cilan's face to turn pink just thinking about it if it wasn't for Red's question catching him off guard.]
[ Cilan's face might not be a pecha berry right now, but there's something off by the way he looks that's got Red stopping his earlier train of thought to blink at him with a different kind of concern. ]
[Cilan raises a hand up to feel his own face for a moment--there is a warmth there, but it feels like the pleasant kind, not the sickly-kind one might consider as a sign of illness.]
No, I don't believe I have a feverish flavor... why do you ask?
You had this far off look, and you looked embarrassed all of the sudden... [ Was it embarrassment? Red's pointing up a finger at his own face, not sure how else to describe such a look than that. ]
Mm, it must've been nothing. If you're fine, that's okay. It was just out of place.
[ ... ] I was thinking that the last thing you'd want to do was go in with how you acted when you came in --
[ The cushions of the couch move as he decides to return to his seat, a pause breaking what he's saying as he grabs his drink and then sits back, his feet joining him near the edge. It tucks his legs in close, and the cup rests in his hands over on the other side of his legs. ] -- but, maybe staying busy is how you want to be. I was thinking about spending a few days just camping out and getting away from the city. Everyone's going to be talking about those pods... it's too noisy here.
[ He's running a finger along the side of the cup, the tea no longer too sharp in its heat but still warm enough. ]
... Actually, I think getting away for a little while sounds like a great idea: sometimes, you just need the refreshing fragrance of the great outdoors in order to organize one's thoughts, right? I'd be happy to accompany you, if you'd like us to.
It doesn't have to be right away. [ Despite that 'now'. ] But I wanted to leave tonight.
[ He has his reasons! ...That he just doesn't want to sleep inside. ]
There's a spot where I used to sleep with my pokémon a lot. It's really spacious, inside the woods near a stream. [ A pause, and the smallest of smiles grows on his face. ] It'll be nice having the extra company too.
You're welcome to come wherever I go, Cilan. Always. [ He takes a long drink of his tea (some might be good to bring with them, just in case), and then he's up again, keeping it in hand. ]
You can bring whatever you want. Charizard can help carry it. I need to figure out what the porrings will wanna do. [ Again, he'll reassure with a look to Cilan: ] Don't rush. I want to go out and buy a few things.
[ The food is dealt with, without Red thinking to ask Cilan if he's decided to prepare anything. It's the reason why he's out a while longer than he needs to be, and Charizard's already waiting outside the home to meet Cilan, a low growl rumbling in greeting to the connoisseur while Red goes in to grab his own essentials. He comes back out with his backpack, as well as a large cloth bag he used to carry foods in the past, but filled now with a certain three porrings who, really, had every right to appear from inquisitive to suspicious as they do.
They get a word of reassurance, and an apologetic look that contradicts it, and two guys taking off on a dragon with a bag squealing in its hold probably doesn't look like the best sight, but it's one that settles down after a while, even if the squirming they do inside gets Charizard constantly looking down at the bag with some mild concern.
But the ride isn't a long one, at least, and they land gently with the bag making soft contact first, the flaps dropping and the porrings scuttling out hurriedly -- well, two of them -- to remember what their gelatinous bodies feel to be sitting on more than wrapped up bags of food. ..not that much different, actually, but flying was a new experience for the trio.
They only need to make their way in from them, a bit of a walking distance, but the sound of water and the rustling of trees sounding deeper the farther they get in welcomes them to their destination -- and Myra, Red's oversized, giant centipede with the scarf around it that's now dulled from the shade of red it used to be.
Trees, some bearing small hard apples not yet ripe for eating, shield away the small space, yet cast enough above to shelter away from rain, only clearing to the fresh water pulling away from the greens of life with its own soft colouring. All of Red's pokémon come out, even Mewtwo. It has a quiet look about it, never making a sound even when offered food behind the occasional thwish of its tail. It would have offered a judging look to Cilan and his pokémon, a tension in the air around it that...could honestly be stronger.
It definitely wouldn't have sit even at the space it does from the group once before, body facing everybody, but with its back to a tree. Funnily enough, it's Jolteon who plods over to them with food to eat, and Gengar then after. ]
... After you didn't need to stay at the apartment I had anymore, I didn't bother keeping it for much longer. Having a place all to myself didn't feel right, and I couldn't sleep in a bed easy those days. I just decided to keep camping like here. [ ... ] It was comfortable, having everyone out with me. You know, back home, it was either camping or spending a night in a pokémon centre. Hotels felt like a waste of money.
[ The food is a mix of vegetable-stuffed pies and quiches to cover everyone, from, pokémon, and the non-pokémon too (the porring siblings munch eagerly away at their food, with Myra not any quieter with the few raw vegetables available, skittering usually either next to Red or Lapras), and more than enough fruit bought from the farmers just about packing away for the ride back to their homes. It'd be good in the morning however, whatever wasn't eaten then. ]
You don't have to think about where you are out here. Everything's just... normal. The creatures do what they want like pokémon do, and I found places to hide away the stuff I didn't need with me. Myra got to learn how to live independently from me too. I didn't want to worry about anything happening to him if I ever [ ... ] if something ever happened to me.
[ There's nothing ominous about that, just a fact of life for non-natives where disappearing was a thing. ]
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no subject
His hands close together, one over the other. ]
... I know about how something terrible happened back in her world; the same one that Hinata, Komaeda, and [ ... ] and Junko all come from. ...and I think, to all of them too.
no subject
Did they tell you much about what is was that happened there?
no subject
This was Cilan, and he didn't want to keep his mouth shut about the subject from him of all people, and what it possibly meant regarding the people they knew. It's for that reason that any guilt he might've felt usually in this situation isn't as present when he does finally open his mouth. ]
No, I don't know the full story... but Hinata told me about a school where people considered "Ultimates" in a talent came together and were admired by the rest of the world. There... [ his brow dips in briefly, a frown pressed on his mouth ] Hinata got into the school through some kind of program than by having a talent, and he agreed to take part in an experiment to become an Ultimate like the others. Komaeda-- he's one too. They could all be Ultimates: Sonia, Junko... it might be how they all know each other.
[ ...But he's getting distracted. He looks over to the cup on the table, but doesn't move to pick it up. ]
When the school experimented on Hinata, he lost his humanity-- he became someone who could do anything perfectly, but there was nothing about him left. Their goal was to make the "Ultimate Hope", and by doing that [ the disgust comes off every word ] they took away everything that made him, him. His own hopes, his dreams, his personality... they took away Hinata.
[ It annoyed him to remember that, how not long ago Hinata wanted to make the choice to be him, just because of another choice he didn't want to make. Why...? He couldn't understand, even factoring in those pods...
His hands squeeze together, tightly, and it takes him a longer to resume this time. ]
When he told me, he said--- that's it's possible he's killed people. There's a part of his life he doesn't remember as that guy. Not only that... there was someone else earlier today saying the same thing over the amulet. They said they'd forgotten the time when they did something terrible with a group that were also here, and there was one who knew the truth who "couldn't be trusted"...
[ Junko. It made sense. He hates that it makes sense, that he's thought about it to this degree and let himself click pieces into places about others' lives. The air becomes slightly heavy around him thinking about it, his mouth lined. ]
Their world was ruined by Junko Enoshima -- but she wasn't the only one who destroyed it.
[ The implication is enough for him, and enough to make him feel that shame. ]
no subject
Mm, then we are on the same page here now. [That's kind of a relief; he doesn't like hiding things from Red if he can help it. He didn't know that part about Hinata though, and it makes the air uncomfortably warm with anger thinking that something like that happened to him... no, not just him...]
Sonia told me something similar today, too... she felt that it was important that I should know the situation regarding herself and her classmates here, and how they know Miss Junko here as well.
no subject
He exhales, and moves away by a few steps. ] What did you say to her?
no subject
That I'd still like to be her friend, of course. What happened was... distasteful, horrifying really, but... I can tell that she's a sweet person and wants to change things for the better here. How can I not want to reward such bravery and honesty by continuing to put my trust in her?
[There was some other things said too though, if judging by the heat of anger changing now to something a little more pleasant, almost a giddy sort of feeling...]
no subject
Wasn't it? ]
...Were you ready for the kind of stories you would hear from people about their worlds? Ever since I came here, I've found myself changing what I thought I believed in... I've heard about their world, and the things people have done... the kind of things I wouldn't have forgiven them for back home. [ Would he have? He doesn't know-- ] Did you know? The world Alvin comes from -- Ludger told me that he's had to destroy worlds for his own. Do you think Alvin didn't know about it? All of them from that world, they're closer than that.
[ There's a melancholy to his words, and he still eyes Cilan with an unreadable, lax expression. ]
That's the kind of people we're surrounded by. [ His leans to the side, slowly. ] Or do you have a secret too?
no subject
Our opinion on this taste is a little difficult to describe, but I can assure you that I don't have any secrets like that going on.
[Or rather, he's pretty sure you already know most of them by now?]
no subject
It's fine, I didn't suspect you did. [ ... ] I don't know how much it would've mattered anyway even if you had. Talk about being a hypocrite, huh?
[ Whether that was true or not, it's nothing Red allows a response to--at least not directly after, continuing on: ]
Are you going to be okay? It looked it was a lot for you to find out. [ A pause. ] Do you have work tomorrow?
no subject
Ah... no, I have the day off tomorrow, actually.
no subject
[ Cilan's face might not be a pecha berry right now, but there's something off by the way he looks that's got Red stopping his earlier train of thought to blink at him with a different kind of concern. ]
no subject
[Cilan raises a hand up to feel his own face for a moment--there is a warmth there, but it feels like the pleasant kind, not the sickly-kind one might consider as a sign of illness.]
No, I don't believe I have a feverish flavor... why do you ask?
no subject
Mm, it must've been nothing. If you're fine, that's okay. It was just out of place.
no subject
[Haha... ha... he's never embarrassed about anything, what are you talking about.]
So, what was it that you wanted to do tomorrow?
no subject
[ The cushions of the couch move as he decides to return to his seat, a pause breaking what he's saying as he grabs his drink and then sits back, his feet joining him near the edge. It tucks his legs in close, and the cup rests in his hands over on the other side of his legs. ] -- but, maybe staying busy is how you want to be. I was thinking about spending a few days just camping out and getting away from the city. Everyone's going to be talking about those pods... it's too noisy here.
[ He's running a finger along the side of the cup, the tea no longer too sharp in its heat but still warm enough. ]
no subject
no subject
[ This is a real question. ]
no subject
I'd have to pack some things first, but yes, we could leave as soon as I'm ready to?
no subject
[ He has his reasons! ...That he just doesn't want to sleep inside. ]
There's a spot where I used to sleep with my pokémon a lot. It's really spacious, inside the woods near a stream. [ A pause, and the smallest of smiles grows on his face. ] It'll be nice having the extra company too.
no subject
It sounds like a lovely place. I'd be happy to taste it for myself, if you'll allow us to accompany you there.
no subject
You can bring whatever you want. Charizard can help carry it. I need to figure out what the porrings will wanna do. [ Again, he'll reassure with a look to Cilan: ] Don't rush. I want to go out and buy a few things.
no subject
[Otherwise, by the time Red gets back, Cilan will likely have everything except for food and things of that nature ready to go here.]
no subject
They get a word of reassurance, and an apologetic look that contradicts it, and two guys taking off on a dragon with a bag squealing in its hold probably doesn't look like the best sight, but it's one that settles down after a while, even if the squirming they do inside gets Charizard constantly looking down at the bag with some mild concern.
But the ride isn't a long one, at least, and they land gently with the bag making soft contact first, the flaps dropping and the porrings scuttling out hurriedly -- well, two of them -- to remember what their gelatinous bodies feel to be sitting on more than wrapped up bags of food. ..not that much different, actually, but flying was a new experience for the trio.
They only need to make their way in from them, a bit of a walking distance, but the sound of water and the rustling of trees sounding deeper the farther they get in welcomes them to their destination -- and Myra, Red's oversized, giant centipede with the scarf around it that's now dulled from the shade of red it used to be.
Trees, some bearing small hard apples not yet ripe for eating, shield away the small space, yet cast enough above to shelter away from rain, only clearing to the fresh water pulling away from the greens of life with its own soft colouring. All of Red's pokémon come out, even Mewtwo. It has a quiet look about it, never making a sound even when offered food behind the occasional thwish of its tail. It would have offered a judging look to Cilan and his pokémon, a tension in the air around it that...could honestly be stronger.
It definitely wouldn't have sit even at the space it does from the group once before, body facing everybody, but with its back to a tree. Funnily enough, it's Jolteon who plods over to them with food to eat, and Gengar then after. ]
... After you didn't need to stay at the apartment I had anymore, I didn't bother keeping it for much longer. Having a place all to myself didn't feel right, and I couldn't sleep in a bed easy those days. I just decided to keep camping like here. [ ... ] It was comfortable, having everyone out with me. You know, back home, it was either camping or spending a night in a pokémon centre. Hotels felt like a waste of money.
[ The food is a mix of vegetable-stuffed pies and quiches to cover everyone, from, pokémon, and the non-pokémon too (the porring siblings munch eagerly away at their food, with Myra not any quieter with the few raw vegetables available, skittering usually either next to Red or Lapras), and more than enough fruit bought from the farmers just about packing away for the ride back to their homes. It'd be good in the morning however, whatever wasn't eaten then. ]
You don't have to think about where you are out here. Everything's just... normal. The creatures do what they want like pokémon do, and I found places to hide away the stuff I didn't need with me. Myra got to learn how to live independently from me too. I didn't want to worry about anything happening to him if I ever [ ... ] if something ever happened to me.
[ There's nothing ominous about that, just a fact of life for non-natives where disappearing was a thing. ]