Need to talk privately with Cilan? Send him a message via the crystal or carrier pigeon? Want to meet with him without posting a log for it? Here's the place to do it!
I'm better. [ Said with that tinge of apology, or embarrassment, like one making a scene at a party and now the dust has settled for them to reflect on what they did. (Well, avoiding a scene at a party is exactly what prompted this.) A foot kicks against the ground in an idle manner, and he seems to decide keeping his head bowed is actually a much better option.
(He would very much like to apology for the scene, but it doesn't feel right to.) ]
...I've never talked about it before. I don't really like to think about it. [ As one might guess. ] ...but I didn't want to keep it from you, because there was going to be a chance you'd find out... and I didn't want you to do it in a different way.
[ In a less kinder manner, or one where emotions would rise more out of control than they had then in his apartment. ]
When Alvin told me [ and there's a growing amusement in his tone ] he said enough already for me to guess, and then he told me when I said I didn't want to know outside the restaurant in the street. [ A street full of people. Here, now, Red's chuckling: ] And I heard Silver talk about holding a party with Ludger and Milla outside too!
[ He pats his hands together suddenly, rubbing his bare hands, the air becoming thicker that rests on their lungs, a small mist leaving out through his nose. ]
Surprises can certainly have a disappointing taste, sometimes. [Cilan agrees that it sucks, but... well, Cilan doesn't really say that something "sucks" like most people would.] It's also perfectly understandable, not knowing what to say about these things: it can be scary, thinking about one's own mortality...
[...But, he does manage a small smile.]
But, if I had to hear about this from someone, I'm glad that it was you. Thank you for confiding in me, Red.
[It's kind of touching, actually, that you trusted us enough to tell us what's going on rather than just keeping it to yourself.]
You said you were there-- you care about Silver too, so... I thought it was better that you know.
[ And the fact the pair of them worked in the same restaurant too. How would it have been, if he had known that everyone around himself knew but him? Alvin's intent that day had been enough to let him forgive the man for how he handled the situation. Cilan may have had less placed to be told here, but-
it wasn't just the knowledge of what he did that Red wanted to share, and make sure Cilan knew. ]
Whatever you feel about Ludger now, I can't stop you from feeling that way. ...but don't forget that other people turned that way because of Sosyne's anger.
[ There's a quiet nod, the silence lengthened out longer for a while in that chill between them, Red's arms coming to fold in front of himself. ]
...I don't hate him. [ Scared of in a complicated manner, but hate had only been reserved for one single person more personal to Red. ] ...but it's not as simple as that.
And it's supposed to be a good time. [ He says, then exhales sharply through his nose, closing his eyes briefly. ] I don't want anything getting complicated because of me.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
[Or well, maybe "alright" isn't the right word to use. It's more like he's currently in a state of calm, for now.]
And you? [How are you feeling now?]
no subject
(He would very much like to apology for the scene, but it doesn't feel right to.) ]
...I've never talked about it before. I don't really like to think about it. [ As one might guess. ] ...but I didn't want to keep it from you, because there was going to be a chance you'd find out... and I didn't want you to do it in a different way.
[ In a less kinder manner, or one where emotions would rise more out of control than they had then in his apartment. ]
When Alvin told me [ and there's a growing amusement in his tone ] he said enough already for me to guess, and then he told me when I said I didn't want to know outside the restaurant in the street. [ A street full of people. Here, now, Red's chuckling: ] And I heard Silver talk about holding a party with Ludger and Milla outside too!
[ He pats his hands together suddenly, rubbing his bare hands, the air becoming thicker that rests on their lungs, a small mist leaving out through his nose. ]
It sucks. [ ... ] Surprises suck.
no subject
[...But, he does manage a small smile.]
But, if I had to hear about this from someone, I'm glad that it was you. Thank you for confiding in me, Red.
[It's kind of touching, actually, that you trusted us enough to tell us what's going on rather than just keeping it to yourself.]
no subject
[ And the fact the pair of them worked in the same restaurant too. How would it have been, if he had known that everyone around himself knew but him? Alvin's intent that day had been enough to let him forgive the man for how he handled the situation. Cilan may have had less placed to be told here, but-
it wasn't just the knowledge of what he did that Red wanted to share, and make sure Cilan knew. ]
Whatever you feel about Ludger now, I can't stop you from feeling that way. ...but don't forget that other people turned that way because of Sosyne's anger.
no subject
[Doesn't mean he has to like it, though, as evidenced by the slight chill out here where they're standing.]
I'm not pleased with what he did, but... I am aware of the fact that he might not have been in his right mind at the time.
no subject
...I don't hate him. [ Scared of in a complicated manner, but hate had only been reserved for one single person more personal to Red. ] ...but it's not as simple as that.
And it's supposed to be a good time. [ He says, then exhales sharply through his nose, closing his eyes briefly. ] I don't want anything getting complicated because of me.