[ He's not sure if he does. Not completely. His face darkens with the twitching of muscles, of a mouth moving and of eyes shifting as they attempt to study through invisible thoughts. Of course strength was subjective, and not everyone wanted to be the best, either. And there was no secret technique, no cheat to getting better: Red knew that too.
But what applied to him? How much? There's an inkling of guilt for admitting his past (and current) desires to surpass them all, but-- had it been so much as to surpass them as it had been to battle and show his and his pokémon's growth? He'd ha a taste of that as a trainer, through battles, gym leaders, captures and evolutions - and never did he want to stall that constant progress, to witness how easier everything became, how everything was still a thrill.
The silence since Cilan's words keeps on lingering, nothing on his lips to be said. Luceti was really different from home, wasn't it? Everything seems almost so -- lighter. A careless mind comes close to thinking that it all didn't mattere in comparison, but Red knows better. Standing up to Team Rocket at least meant something. To people, to pokémon, no matter how much he has or hasn't done afterwards in history.
But right now, there's nothing but frustration boiling around in him, making it hard to think fairly. ]
I don't know. [ He admits finally. ] I don't know if I know there's a difference anymore. It's like-- [ he swallows, then takes up the lower palms of his hands to his eyes, rubbing them in. ] It's like I'm forgetting something really important. I don't get why I feel like this.
[ September 6th, action ] r.i.p taku
But what applied to him? How much? There's an inkling of guilt for admitting his past (and current) desires to surpass them all, but-- had it been so much as to surpass them as it had been to battle and show his and his pokémon's growth? He'd ha a taste of that as a trainer, through battles, gym leaders, captures and evolutions - and never did he want to stall that constant progress, to witness how easier everything became, how everything was still a thrill.
The silence since Cilan's words keeps on lingering, nothing on his lips to be said. Luceti was really different from home, wasn't it? Everything seems almost so -- lighter. A careless mind comes close to thinking that it all didn't mattere in comparison, but Red knows better. Standing up to Team Rocket at least meant something. To people, to pokémon, no matter how much he has or hasn't done afterwards in history.
But right now, there's nothing but frustration boiling around in him, making it hard to think fairly. ]
I don't know. [ He admits finally. ] I don't know if I know there's a difference anymore. It's like-- [ he swallows, then takes up the lower palms of his hands to his eyes, rubbing them in. ] It's like I'm forgetting something really important. I don't get why I feel like this.